Life Without Regrets

I got a phone call while I was in my office struggling hard with my files. I jumped out of my chair quickly, wrote an application for 3 days leave ran to my home and packed my bags. It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Delhi airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold. I was travelling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend's wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. This wedding was also going to be a reunion of our batchmates. But what I didn't know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter.I was almost sure it was he. Same height! Same physique! Same complexion!Curiosity had my eyes glued to him. And then about 60-odd seconds later,when he turned, he proved me right. My ex-boyfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after the college farewell. At that moment, the only thing which came in my mind was "The more you keep running from the past, the more it will keep haunting you down". He hadn't change, same enticement, same appeal, and a while ago he was in love with me. I got lost in the thoughts of My first love, while suddenly I was able to hear constant voice from back, people behind me in the queue were shouting ‘Move on girl, otherwise we'll miss the flight’, I was back in reality, took my tickets off from the counter and went in the plane. I was searching for my seat, and much to my vexation my seat was just next to him. I sat down as if I didn't notice him. He looked at me, surprised, but didn't say anything. The whole journey, we tried ignoring each other, like we were strangers.We finally reached Bengaluru airport. We got into different taxis knowing our destination was same.

      I reached at the hotel which Pragna booked for us. She asked me to go to my room, get myself freshen up and come down for the ceremonies to be held within an hour. I took my bag and went into my room. As soon I got freshen up, I came out of the room for the ceremonies and I saw a room, just next to me, it's door was slight open, I couldn’t resist because I was getting the glance of a man from the back.I got so eager to know who he was, I tried peeping in when suddenly he noticed me, he came to the door and slammed it hard, I felt so agitated at that moment. I went downstairs; my friends were waiting for me. I walked towards them, and started talking about how life has changed after college, and when suddenly I noticed him, coming towards us. I went away from there to the bar and had 4-5 Vodka shots all at once. I was high and stood up to make a toast, I started, “My dear friends, today we all are here on my best friend’s wedding, just for the name sake I call her my best friend, but I haven’t fulfilled any duty of being her best friend. I am sorry Pragna, sorry for not being there with you", and after some more lines I started apologizing Kartik too. Then suddenly, Pragna came, I couldn’t even stand properly, she took me away to my room. I was still murmuring, ‘I am sorry Kartik'.

           I woke up next morning, with a headache; soon I realized what I did last night. I went to Pragna and begged pardon for spoiling her party. Pragna calmly held my hand and said, ‘It’s okay, now get ready we are going for a Bengaluru tour today, my bachelor’s party, but the difference is, this time with boys.’ It was like college memories came alive. We did all sort of things we used to do in college, driving in speed, howling and shouting on the roads. While dancing in a club, I accidentally got collided with Kartik, and like a movie scene I was about to fall, but he held me tightly in his arms. That moment I felt like everything has just stopped, but it lasted for a few seconds. 

       In the night while everyone was enjoying I was sitting alone not wanting to face him again, and suddenly I heard a gentle voice, I turned back it was Kartik, he asked me, ‘Why are you sitting here alone? Why don’t you come down and join us’. I was surprised, but from inside I was shouting, ‘You are the reason why I am not being able to enjoy’. And suddenly he held my hand and said, ‘Kavya, look, I know I am the reason for you being sad, but what’s past is past. Let it be. It was over 4 years back. How long will you keep carrying the burden of our past. I am happy in my life. I have a girlfriend and we are going to get married next month. This is probably the last meeting of us. Please, don’t ruin it.’ He smiled and went away. I could still feel his tender touch. I was feeling good at what he said. I went down, guests were there, enjoying the reception, the bride and groom were on the stage, one by one everyone was going to congratulate them.

    After the party was over we went back to our rooms, I saw Kartik standing alone in the balcony I went there and from the back I said,‘So what is she doing?’ He looked back, and he said ‘Oh! She is a software engineer at an MNC.’ I went closer to him, tried to search in his eyes if he still loves me, and he noticed me and said, ‘What? What are you looking at? And then after a sudden realization of what I just did, I hastily diverted the topic and with an apologetic tone I said, ‘I am sorry Kartik, for what I did to you. I had to leave you because at that time, I was so unsure about my future. I didn’t want you to suffer with me throughout my life. You know how my family is. I know it was unfair, I could discuss this with you but at that moment, what seemed right was what I followed. Walking away simply, without saying anything seemed the best decision to me, though I still regret that decision.’ He interrupted me and said, ‘Kavya, never regret your past decisions. You should learn to accept things. I know that you loved me, and you also know that I have always loved you, until Avni entered in my life. She helped me to get out of certain pains. She became my best friend and eventually I fell in love with her. She is just full package. I surely want you to meet her.'With a smile I said, ‘Yes, I would like to meet her someday’ and before I could complete my sentence he quickly said, ‘then why don’t you come to attend my wedding. It’ll be a pleasure to have you there.’ I was regretting of what I said, but still I had to pretend that I was happy for him and said, ‘I will surely come to your wedding. He said ‘Okay, it’s too late, now we should sleep, we have a flight tomorrow ’.

    Next day we were to aboard our flight back to Delhi. We were as usual on the same flight but this time things were different, we were talking. We landed Delhi and as soon I reached airport I saw a girl was coming towards us and Kartik was smiling at her, she hugged him, I knew it was her, Avni. This was the moment nobody would ever want to face in their life.Your ex is introducing you to their fiancé. He introduced me to Avni and she said with a dreadful smile,‘Hi Kavya, I’ve heard so much about you’, with a clumsy face I said, ‘Oh yes! I have heard about you too, in fact Kartik has been telling about you,all through the flight.’I congratulated her for their wedding, and luckily I got a phone call and I pretended to be very busy and went away from them. 

     After few days, on a fine Sunday morning, I was in my bed, still in my dreams, while I could feel my desk vibrating, it was my phone ringing, I picked my phone up with half of my eyes open, without seeing the number and heard a familiar voice saying ‘Hey, Kavya it’s me.’ I was still in my dreams and murmured , ‘It’s who?’; when and my eyes were wide open when I realized it was Kartik. I jumped off the bed, when he asked me where I was, I said I was at my home and then suddenly I heard my doorbell ringing, I asked him to hold, I opened the door and was almost in the state of shock, it was him standing in front of me. For a moment I couldn't react. He interrupted me and asked me if he could come in. I welcomed him to come inside my house. He suddenly asked, 'Kavya, didn’t you like it that I came here at your home?'I said, ‘Of course I liked it, in fact I loved it. You are here after 4 years.’ I continued while making coffee for us, ‘So, is there any good reason of why you are here on this Sunday morning.’ He said, ‘Oh yes! I came here to give you my wedding card. I asked him about when his wedding is, ‘It's on 4th March’, he replied quickly.Then he told me about how it all started, and then after a long conversation he stood up to leave. I held his hand, and asked him, ‘Why do you want to leave so early? Sit down; I don't think I would get this opportunity next time.’ He sat down again; his gestures were telling me he wanted to ask me something. I told him he could ask me anything if he wants. He looked at me with a quick grin and without a second he asked me, ‘Don't you have a boyfriend? I smiled and quickly nodded my head saying, 'No. Not at all.Why??’ He held my hands and asked me, ‘Kavya, haven't you moved on? I mean it's been 4 years, I am going to get married and you still don't have even a boyfriend. Do you still love me?’ I could see his stiff eyes just looking at me, in my mind I said to myself, ’as if it really matters to you.' I stood up to avoiding eye contact, and said, ‘No Kartik, it's not like that, and with a laugh I said, I am still searching for the right one, You suggest me some if you have.’ He laughed and then stood up to leave, he came forward to me hugged and left. 

        Soon after it was his wedding day, I reached at the wedding place. Unlike all the stories of bride or groom running away with their ex on the day of their wedding, mine was a bit different, the fact that it was a real life not reel life. He was getting married whom he loved, I went towards them, to congratulate, instead of feeling wistful I was rather happy for him, because Avni held his hand when I left his. I still have bit feelings for him, but I am sure it will fade away after I get someone special of my life. He got married to the right lady, though I too was not wrong for him, but maybe it was our destiny which parted us. I felt so relaxed seeing him happy, smiling. That burden which I was carrying from past 4 years faded away in a moment. 

            Regretting is never an option. Living life of your choice is the best way to live. Life is too short to spend time regretting your past decisions. Take a chance. 

"I choose to live with no regrets, I am where I am today from the choices I made yesterday".